5 Ways To Increase The Joy In Your Relationships

By: Brenda Shoshanna

Usually we enter relationships hoping they will make us happy. We hope that this one is the right one, that we are not repeating mistakes of the past, and that finally we will receive the love, support and companionship we have been seeking.

Although this approach to relationships is normal, it usually brings disappointment because happiness comes and goes. It has to, because happiness depends upon circumstances. When things go well, we are happy. When we get what we want, when the sun is shining, others value us, our boyfriend finally pops the question, these are moments of happiness.

Joy is different. It doesn't come and go, or depend upon outer circumstances. When things are difficult, when our hopes are not fulfilled, it is still possible to feel joyful. Joy is a positive decision we have made about ourselves, and others. It involves taking responsibility for our lives and relationships. How much joy do you have in your love life? Here are five ways to find joy in relationships:

Stop Blaming Your Partner for Your Disappointments

When we're in a relationship, it's very easy to fall into blaming our partner for our disappointments, but it's one of the most significant ways we destroy our own joy and peace of mind. It is also one of the biggest ways we undermine the other person.

If you want to find more joy in your relationship, realize that if you are upset, it does not necessarily mean that something is wrong with your partner. Finding joy in a relationship comes down to understanding that it is your own expectations that have disappointed you. When we do not put heavy expectations on our partners, but are willing to spend time getting to know them and discover who they are, blame dissolves more easily. Other people have the right to be who they are and to express it.

Your partner has not been put on this earth to make you happy. No one can do that, except you, yourself. Your partner is here to share life with, to learn to be open, accepting and to grow.

Discover the Art of True Giving

There is a huge difference between giving to another and giving so you can get something back in return. When we are secretly waiting for what’s in it for us, this is nothing more than manipulation. On the other hand, joy is based upon true giving. When we learn to give sincerely, it is almost impossible to be upset. The giving itself is its own return.

True giving means generosity with no strings attached. It's giving your partner something that he would like, not something that pleases you. It means taking time to know the person and being willing to meet his needs. Some people fear giving, feeling that they will be drained or stripped bare. But the opposite is true. The more we give, the more we have. Giving brings a sense of fullness and kindness, the basis for the development of joy.

There are many things that can be given, everything from time and attention to acknowledging what makes you happy in the relationship. Want to put this plan into action? Make a list of all the things you could give your partner. Then make a list of the things you'd like him to give you. When you see these two lists side by side, you'll be amazed. See if you can give your partner what they want, regardless of whether they can do the same for you.

Give Up Trying to Change the Other Person

The incessant desire to fix or change the other person is one of the biggest thieves of joy. Plus, it causes power struggles within relationships and issues of control. One person feels she cannot love the other unless the other changes. The other feels hurt, inadequate and as though something is wrong with him.

Finding joy in a relationship means having the ability to love your partner as they are. Our partners have been put here to grow, develop and discover who they are. This can be a lengthy and challenging process. But the surprising thing about change is that the less we push and disapprove of others, the more easily and naturally they grow and change.

Learn How to Really Listen

There is no better way of giving to another than really listening. Most of the time we hear what our partners are saying, but have no idea how to listen. Listening involves getting out of your own mind and truly being there with the other person. It means stopping the little voice inside your head (the one that always comments or thinks about what it is going to say next). It means stopping the inner arguer and becoming quiet and available. When you really listen to another, in that moment, you have given up your own expectations of what you want them to say or to be, and are able to be present for them. This is an enormous gift you are giving. In fact, to many, being really listened to feels like being loved.

Give Up Trying to Change the Other Person

The incessant desire to fix or change the other person is one of the biggest thieves of joy. One person feels she cannot love the other unless that person changes. The other feels hurt, inadequate and as though something is wrong with him. The person who wants the change to happen becomes more and more frustrated as the other one withdraws or refuses to change for her. That's where the phrase, "if you loved me enough you would change," comes from.

Finding joy in a relationship means having the ability to love your partner as they are here to grow, develop and discover who they are. This can be a lengthy and challenging process. But the surprising thing about change is that the less we push and disapprove of others, the more easily and naturally they change.

Develop Patience

Patience is an old-fashioned word in today's world.However, there is no way to rush growth in relationships or in the development of joy. If you're eager to get on the right track, there are two ways to get started: Learn how to be more giving and make an effort to be a better listener. But each one of these tasks takes time to master -- and patience. That's why it is necessary to realize that as we are, right now at this moment, we are lovable and acceptable. If you're ready to increase the amount of joy you feel in your own relationship, take back the responsibility for finding joy in your life, you will be pleased at the results.

Article source: iSnare.com

Read More

Show Your Partner That You Care

Many of us start our relationship with love. But after some time you may feel that something is changed, that routine is getting in your relationship. That doesn't mean that the love is gone but you have to do something to keep your love alive.

Relationships are difficult to sustain. We all want to have a relationship that works. Happiness is the primary need of all of us. To make your relationship work , being like before, and also to not lose your partner you should start by showing her that you really care, to impress her with something every day.

It is important to show people that we care. While big and extravagant gifts are one way, it is the small things that we do everyday that are the most important. You don’t need to be creative, have a big budget or heaps of bright ideas to show someone that you care.

Here are some helpful tips you may use to show her that you care, tips to impress her and show that you love her like the beginning.

Surprise her in the morning by making her coffee and bring her breakfast at the bed. If you didn’t done this before you will definitely surprise her in a positive way. This is good way to start your day by being spoiled.

Propose her to make the shower together because you didn't do it for a long time. Show her that you make time for her and it's no problem if you get late at work sometimes. Spending some time with her is much important even if you have a lot of work today.

Bring home roses for no reason at all. You don't need a special reason to buy her flowers to show how much you love her. Your intentions will be appreciated and the message will be better understood.

Be sensitive and carrying. Ask her if is something wrong if you see that she is a little upset. Listen to her and try to make her smile again. Remember her that you'll pass all the problems together.

Don't forget to compliment her sometimes and tell her she's beautiful like in the first day you met. It’s good to hear that you still like how she looks.

Ask if there's anything you can do in the house even if you didn't do it again. Ask her if you can help with something, and sometimes do a little cleaning even she doesn't ask you to do it. Notice the things that are missing and go shopping them without ask her. She will be very surprised that you care about the house and offer to help her.

Remember anniversary and birthday. A woman always know this dates, but men are usually forget this, aren't too important for them. That's why she will be impressed and very happy to see that you are a carrying man and remember your anniversary.

Prepare her a romantic weekend that she doesn't expect to. Go away to spend a romantic weekend with your partner only you two, somewhere away from home where nobody can reach and disturb you. It's the perfect place and chance to re alive the love between you two.

Once you begin to pay attention to what brings her pleasure and happiness, you're on your way to being a true romantic. The thing to keep in mind is that romance is about her desires, not yours. Your satisfaction comes from watching her joy.

By: Ovi Dogar

Article Source: www.iSnare.com

Read More

Six Simple Fast Ways To Save A Marriage

Let's face it, no relationship is perfect. At some point, even the best suited of couples will find themselves having difficult times. Each marriage has its share of ups and downs, but can still be a satisfying and happy relationship if both partners want it to be. If you're currently experiencing problems and wonder if they can be worked out, just remember that there are many ways to save a marriage.

One of the best ways to save a marriage is to start communicating more effectively. Poor communication is a major reason any relationship fails. If you don't know how to fix what's wrong in your communication skills, try buying some books or look for local self-improvement classes. Many talk about improving communication, and you might even find one about the many ways to save a marriage!

Another way to save a marriage is to curb your criticism. Even if you're upset with your spouse, there are many ways to express your feelings, and some are more effective than others. When it comes to the ways to save a marriage, yelling and nagging are not among the recommendations. Share your feelings, but only in positive and constructive ways. Hurtful criticism will never help.

Besides this, another way to save a marriage that isn't as talked about sometimes is the need for a private life. While you share your life with someone you love, you will have many interests and friends in common. But having friends and interests of your own is healthy and can go a long way to save a marriage.

Taking care of yourself is another way to save a marriage. When you take time to do something for yourself to get physically fit or take classes to improve your self-esteem, it can only enhance your relationship. Feeling better about yourself makes life better all around.

Individual and couples therapy are also positive ways to save a marriage. Sometimes it really helps to talk to an objective third party, someone who's trained to recognize destructive patterns in relationships. Therapists can offer advice on many ways to save a marriage, even a relationship with serious problems.

A valuable way to save a marriage is for both partners to commit to being completely honest with each other. Secrets and lies are no way to save a marriage; they can only hurt or undermine trust. It can be scary opening up and completely trusting, but it's one sure fire way to strengthen the intimacy of any relationship.

So what are the ways to save a marriage? There are many, but if you're committed to the relationship and willing to do what it takes to work through the problems that arise, then you'll benefit from any way to save a marriage that you choose.

By Hong Brandon

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Hong_Brandon

Read More

The Clues Which Tell If Your Partner is Having an Affair

Infidelity hurts no matter whether it is in a marriage or dating relationship. While some suspicions in a relationship are completely normal, sometimes you just know something is not quite right. In many cases it is difficult to detect because your partner is minding his or her business very closely. They do not want to get caught, not only do they stand to lose the relationship, they could end up with a zero dating experience, if both sides find out that there is someone else.

There are sure fire methods of knowing if your partner is having an affair, but it can be time consuming and costly. The best way to avoid the cost of a private investigator is to do a little snooping yourself and keep your money in your pocket. Here are some clues to tell if your partner is having an affair.

The most obvious clue that is generally very easy to spot is if your partners schedule has changed. Some fluctuation in work hours is normal, but if there is a consistent late, early morning or odd times they may be cheating on you. When you are dating or married to someone you often can guess their work schedule, hobby schedule and when they will be home. If this predictability changes and you are unable to locate them by phone, or in person, it may be time to get suspicious. Excuses such as I forgot my phone, late meetings or early arrival for workload should be a clue that they may be having an affair. Watch for the changes, then start evaluating.

The second clue is odd phone numbers, phone calls or email addresses. If you are having hang up phone calls or your partner is very private with their phone calls, it could be a sign. If in the past, phone calls were taken right in front of you and now he or she waits until you leave the room, you can suspect that the phone call must have been something private. Most individuals that are cheating are somewhat secretive and get defensive, even angry when questioned about their phone calls, emails or other communication methods. They have to have some way to talk to this mistress so keep your eyes and ears open for strange phone calls, numbers or email addresses.

Tip. If the phone history and computer history is constantly deleted, this is a gigantic clue that your partner may be having an affair.

If your partner suddenly has new interests such as golfing, bowling or any other hobby that you have never seen before, beware. This may be a sign that the other person is interested in this hobby so your partner is taking it up. Generally after you have been dating someone for a while you pretty well know their hobbies, likes and dislikes. Also another clue that there may be an affair is if this new hobby only involves the guys or girls and you are never invited. Other changes in likes and dislikes may include music, reading, sports and or other changes in physical activities.

A sudden change in appearance, diet or exercise is another big clue that your partner may be having an affair. If a preoccupation with how their body looks or the shape that they are in may indicate that someone is looking. Women are notorious for buying new bras and panties, ridding their dresser of granny panties. Men will often begin exercising, dye their hair and maybe change the way they dress. Now there are times in a dating or marriage relationship that people want to change their appearance, but if there is a lack of reason you may want to dig in and find out why the change.

There are products on the market that allow you to test your partners under garments for signs of infidelity. These should be used after you have exhausted all other determining clues. The test kits can get costly so be pretty sure before resorting to the testing method. The best way to determine whether or not that your dating partner is cheating on you is to keep your eyes and ears open. Never bury your head in the sand and think that it cant happen to you, it can. Generally, there are several clues that your partner is having an affair, but you have to be aware and know them when you see them.

By: Lee Blackspur

Article Source: http://www.articlestoreprint.com

Read More