Everyone wants to believe that love is a fundamental factor, and the hostility is just an occurrence. But, because much of turmoil in the love relationship, you can ask the question: what is the cause of the conflict? And why misunderstandings appear so easily and could lead to open confrontation?The atmosphere of suspicion and lack of confidence in our loved one is not so much in the partner, as in the inability to cope with our own emotions.
People are more likely not to notice how little he/she gives to the others, but easily discover this flaw with his partner, feeling that "you never really loved me".
The wife,cherishing the idea of revenge - because her husband was not giving all their attention and all their love, do not notice how much hostility and aggression is expressed in her behaviour. Each of us occasionally forget their own hostile impulses and assign them to our partner.
Such a process invokes lack of trust in the love of our partner. Suspicion about loyalty and sincerity sometimes becomes obsessive. Aware of their own ability to quickly and easily cheat, people have no doubt that their partners are able to do the same. Fear of love always is mixed with fear of evil that we could do other people, or they could do to us. And the exhausting race of pursuance begins.
In love, the fate does not give people the warranty of loyalty and devotion. It is a matter of maturity and identification of personal internal fears.
Getting to know their unconsciously wishes and awareness of the prohibited expression of our own sexuality allows people to avoid paranoid traps.
Another source of mistrust in the love life is the fact that if love occurred, it is taken by us as a source of happiness, as the realization of our dreams. It is in the love a person, contradictory by her essence , suddenly hopes to resolve all her internal conflicts and shifts the responsibility for the decision to his/her partner.
The mistrust is also caused the idea that the perfect partner should correspond to a perfect love. Thus, the partner is entrusted with an impossible task.
The partner must be strong and at the same time helpless, to manage and be managed, severe and sensual. He must be the aggressor in sex and be tender as well, give us all time and at the same time to work, work and work.
When reality comes out, the illusions are destroyed, and our partner appears as he is for real, we are disappointed in him, not realizing that there is our fault too.
Many believe that the key to stable relations is the absence of conflict. But sometimes conflict is a means to maximize the closeness of partners if they were too distant from each other, and if there is no other way to gain their love.
Confidence in yourself, a sense of internal strength and relevance, lack of fear to depend on the loved one can save and strengthen relationships.
To escape from the traps of our subconsciousness, it is necessary first of all to trust yourself and your feelings, not being afraid to openly discuss difficult issues, handle the situation.
Love is a big responsibility not only for a partner, but also for our predictability and a desire to understand what happens to me in this moment.
